Sucks.

It totally just sucks lately because I have nothing to do when I'm at work. Everyone else has class and I'm just in my office alone with nothing to do. I'm on my computer all day, or at least until I have to go to class. I check facebook, popsugar, my e-mails, and a bunch of blogs constantly. It totally sucks when I've run out of shows to watch too. I feel like such a loser.

This describes how I feel. Totally bored.

Nobody

THIS JUST IN: Funniest kid in the world discovered.

Oh my, my student David or Babe-id as my students fondly call him, is officially my funniest student. He saw the song "Nobody" on my laptop, and he asked if nobody is an English word. Another teacher said "of course!" and looked surprised that he would think it was any other language, and then Babe-id says, "ah, I know what that means. It means no body, you don't have a body!" Then the teacher smacks his head and yells, "don't go around telling people that you idiot. You're so embarrassing. Don't tell anyone that you're from our school. You're a nobody!"

Dick-tation

So there's something that I haven't mentioned yet. Lately, I've made a spectacular discovery. DICK-tation. It's my new life style. I just show people who's boss by tagging a dick and adding tation. I usually go around and tag a couple homs everyday. It's really satisfying and empowering. I also say "Miss" or "Sir" or "no offense" after everything I say because it just makes whatever I say polite. For example, when someone offends me I'll say "Puck you Miss!" That's so great because Puck isn't even a real curse word and Miss makes it seem polite. Another example, when I talk crap about someone, "she's the most fugly thing I've ever seen in my life, no offense." These are really great examples of how to be really hot. Talking like this just makes you a lot more interesting and really hot. It's hot to be a bitch sometimes, right? It distinguishes you from the fug girls, no offense. 

All of the above is dedicated to Judy and is completely out of humor and isn't true. However, the truth is that Summer Heights High is changing my life. My thanks goes out to Jonah and Ja'mie. 

Filming Jane

I had the most interesting feeling the other day. I got up from my bed and walked  into the kitchen where I opened the fridge and took out the orange juice. I unscrewed the cap and gulped the sweet, tangy fluid straight from the carton. I was standing in the kitchen looking messy, curly-haired, with my underwear on, no pants, drinking from the orange juice carton. I felt like I was being filmed. I was a character in a film, not just Jane. Jane alone. Jane alone in her own apartment. Jane alone in her own apartment far away, thousands of miles away, from the people who know her and see her. I felt... emancipated. Free to leave the apartment completely a dump. Free to not make my bed in the morning. Free to walk around in my underwear. Free to drink right out of the carton. No cups or plates or utensils necessary in this new lifestyle. Hands and fingers all the way. Just kidding, but I did feel free. The feeling was both good and bad. The good is that no one will say or even know what you're doing and how free you are because you don't know anyone. The bad is that you feel terrible and sloppy and gross for letting yourself be that way.

Pictures of Uiryeong and Jinju. I live a double life, literally. 11-12 hours of my day are spent in Uiryeong admiring the landscape and the rest is spent in Jinju where I live. 

Tourist

I am such a stereotypical tourist. I don't even try not to look like one anymore. It's so apparent in the way my head moves side to sides and my eyes stare curiously. These are some things that I discovered during my recent travels. 

Squash masks in Namhae.

The beautiful handmade lanterns in my city's Jinju Lantern Festival.

Tons of boiled crab waiting to be bought and devoured.

The PIFF. I watched one film, Pandora's Box. It's a Turkish film that made me laugh and cry - mostly laugh though. The 90 year old woman, Tsilla Chelton, was so cute!

Goals : FAILED

So, I had a lot of expectations for Korea.

I thought that I would lose tons of weight with all of the walking. I thought that Koreans didn't eat fattening foods and so my diet would also change into a non-fat one. WRONG. I haven't been walking that much, because public transportation is so convenient. I've been taking the buses, and if I get tired of waiting for the bus, I just get in a cab - pricier, but conveniet. I guess I'm American through and through. I can't trade comfort for anything.

Also, I'm always hungry here! I don't even eat healthy. I've been to McDonald's a few times and I eat ice cream ALL the livelong day! Weight loss: FAIL

I also thought that my skin would become smooth and clear because Korean girls have really great skin! I've been sweating so much all the time that my skin has no chance to breathe or be clean! I was sweating so much that someone bought me ice cream once. I guess the bug bites don't really fit in with clear skin either. Great skin: FAIL

Another wish was for my hair to grow fast. I was going to look for vitamins to promote hair growth. I was sure that health-crazed Koreans would definitely have them. Well... they probably do, but no one understands what I'm saying when I ask. I have no idea how to ask. Long Hair: FAIL

I thought my Korean was going to get so much better and that Koreans would be impressed by the Korean that I already know. WRONG. When I ask for things in Korean or I ask about things or basically ask anything, people give me this strange look, like they think I'm crazy or really stupid or something or they think I have something in my mouth and can't say something properly. Most say "moragoyo? mollayo!!!" (what? I don't know!) Some people just shake their hands or wave, signing that they don't know, even before I ask the question! Great Korean: Failed

Well... my expectations have failed as of now. Hopefully I'll be able to fulfill some of those goals. Lunch time calls - my favorite part of the day, at school at least.

Diarrhea...Oh my.

5 A.M. this morning, I have a dream about my stomach grumbling and me squatting immediately. Then, my brain registers that the grumbling is a reality. I wake up and run to the bathroom.... Since then, I've been pissing out of my ass.

I couldn't even go to school today. This is like the 4th or 5th time I've been sick since entering Korea. Jane says it's chonsul to be sick here. (chonsul = unstylish... I can't think of the exact translation.) Yesterday I saw Brown Eyed Girls. They are a famous singing girl group. They're pretty good!

So I have a lot of things to post once I get internet. Right now I'm using the PC room in front of my apt. It smells so bad. Everyone is cancering my lungs right now.

Trying to Like Korea...

The things I like about Korea....

I have friends.

Starting from the top left: Andrea is from Maryland and she has sort of a British accent because she learned English from British television. Denice is from LA and she loves her school, Ucla and she really likes korean grapes and patbingsoo. Hwang Sujin says that her nickname is yellow jean because hwang means yellow and jin sounds like jean. She is Carly's co-teacher. Bottom left: Jane Lee is from Sacramento. She goes to UC Davis. She loves boys and she was my roommate. Next is me, Jane S. Kim. I am from Valencia, CA and I miss In-N-Out and Mexican food. On my left and your right is Carly. She is from England. She is so cute that people ask to take photos of her everywhere she goes, yet she still insisted that I take a photo of her walking away. 

Mr. Simon is from London and he has very sexy shorts.

Some are weird.

Thomas has a hilarious last name, Smallwood. Andrew is transparently pale. Sungmin is easily surprised.

Dee is a Dancer

I have Arrison Unni too!

Allison is from Fullerton, CA, a place that is near and dear to me. I miss Thai Basil, Yogurtland, and the Brea mall.

More things that I like about Korea...

I have fun sometimes and I still have things to laugh at or about.

Kids do what I tell them to, in this case, they're waving at me because I told them to.

They put trees where they need them.
'

I can catch fish with my bare hands

I can sleep on the beach after clubbing.

There are slutty Russian Koreans.

The clouds are beautiful and the sky is so blue, but it rains a lot and it's really hot and humid.

The land is lush and green in rural areas which is most areas.

I can learn about my heritage while bearing through really rainy weather.

They have HamHung like in the states, but there's many more restaurants with good Korean food.

AND!!!!

Cindy comes here often. I love her so much!

Arrival in Uiryeong

The English director at the elementary school that I'm going to be teaching at picked me up yesterday. Picture this:

I'm sweating and my clothes are moist and I'm smelling like Korean food with the new B.O. that I've acquired, I get into the teacher's car. Up to this point I've pretended that I don't speak Korean and that I only speak English. In the car, I feel her frustration because she totally doesn't speak English so I tell her that I actually do speak Korea. She expresses her relief and then she says, "we haven't looked for a place for you to live yet, but we found a place for you to stay in the meantime. You can stay at this teacher's house tonight." Then she gets a phone call and tells me that she actually doesn't have a place for me to sleep. Tears are about to spring from my eye sockets and I feel a lump in my throat.

Last night I slept at the apartment of the two other girls in Uiryeong. I still have that lump in my throat. I just want to go home while they sort out my apartment business and eat some In-N-Out and carne asada fries with carnitas burrito.